Timelines Try to Repair Themselves
by WeirdLittleStories
Summary: When much of Kirk's mind is destroyed by the Klingon mind sifter, Spock and McCoy must figure out what to do ... with some help from Spock Prime. No explicit sex. Implied K/S relationship between Spock Prime and Kirk Prime.


Spock materialized inside the transporter room of the _Enterprise _with Captain Kirk unconscious in his arms.

"Ye've got him!" Scotty said from behind the transporter console. "But ... what did those bastards do to him?"

McCoy had been standing by in the transporter room ever since Spock had beamed down with a security team to try to rescue Kirk from the Klingons who'd captured him. He'd known he wouldn't be needed immediately, but he'd been too antsy to go back to Sickbay. Finally there was something for him to do. "Let me see him, Spock,"

Spock looked at McCoy over Kirk's unconscious body. "His injuries are not life-threatening, but they are such that he will require privacy,"

McCoy's eyes searched Spock's face, and what they saw there quieted the comment he'd been about to make. "Nobody's using the private room in Sickbay, so you can carry him directly there."

A Vulcan in a hurry can move quickly while not appearing to do so, and McCoy had to run to keep up. When they reached Sickbay, Spock deposited Kirk gently on the bed in the private room, and McCoy looked up at the monitor's readout in puzzlement.

"Heartbeat normal, temperature normal, respiration normal, blood pressure normal. What happened, Spock? According to these readings, he's in perfect health, aside from the small matter of being unconscious."

Now that they were alone, Spock's face showed his pain; even McCoy's presence wasn't enough for him to maintain his impervious mask. His voice was hoarse as he said, "We knew he'd been captured by the Klingons, but it took substantial amounts of time to identify and infiltrate their location." He turned away from McCoy, seemingly speaking to the wall. "I was too late. They'd already used the mind sifter."

"The mind sifter! Did you get a reading on what level they used?"

"Negative. I beamed out the moment I retrieved the captain."

"Well, I hate to say this, but I think this kind of injury is more in your line than in mine. Can you do a mind meld and see if he just passed out from the stress or if they've destroyed his mind?"

"If he had passed out from stress, Doctor, his physical readings would not be so stable. I will do a meld, but ... I do not look forward to it."

McCoy wanted to blast Spock for pointing out the obvious, but he could tell the Vulcan was upset, and THAT was such an unheard-of occurrence that he subsided. _I do not look forward to it _was obviously Vulcan for "The idea terrifies me."

Spock approached the bed and placed his hands on either side of Kirk's face. He closed his eyes and moved his hands lightly over the sides of Kirk's face, the fingertips pressed softly against the forehead, cheeks, and temples. He winced and shook his head, and McCoy had to restrain himself from shouting "What, what," but he didn't want to interrupt Spock at a crucial point and risk hurting Jim more.

Spock stayed in the meld for half an hour, longer than McCoy had ever seen him meld with anyone, then finally sighed, removed his hands, and stood straight once more.

"Well?" McCoy said impatiently. "What did they do to him? Is Jim still in there?"

Spock took a moment to gather his thoughts. "The Klingons took their time with him, using each level of the mind sifter for quite some time before moving on to subsequent levels. I was able to retrieve him before they used the highest levels, but not before they had done significant damage."

McCoy was too anxious for Spock's long-windedness. "Will he be okay or won't he?"

"In part of his mind, the connections between his memories and their retrieval cues have been removed. A Vulcan healer could trace those connections and re-link them."

McCoy looked at Spock doubtfully. "Is that something you can do, or do we need to take him to New Vulcan?"

"I could probably do it, but I would rather have him treated by someone more practiced and expert than I. And we do need to take him to New Vulcan because I have not finished with my report."

"You said that the connections had been removed from only part of his mind."

Spock pressed his lips together. "Yes. But you did not allow me to finish. In the rest of his mind, the contents have been erased."

"Erased? Erased? You mean part of his mind has been WIPED?"

"That is exactly what I mean, Doctor."

"How much of his mind has been wiped? And what can anyone do about that, even on New Vulcan?"

"Approximately 11.6% of the contents of his mind have been erased. As to what can be done about it, Ambassador Spock did a mind meld with Jim shortly after I marooned him on Delta Vega. It is possible - not guaranteed, but possible - that Ambassador Spock's mind contains some or all of the missing material, which he could re-engrave on Jim's mind."

"What happens to Jim if Ambassador Spock doesn't have those memories? Is it just a matter of retraining him? Reminding him which button calls for red alert and which one is yellow?

"No, doctor. The missing memories are from Jim's early childhood. He retains all of his factual knowledge about starship operations; what's missing are the social interactions and early experiences that make up much of his personality. Without those memories, Jim would be an idiot-savant, someone who knew everything about the WHAT of starship command, with no understanding of the why or how."

McCoy collapsed into a chair and looked up at Spock. "You're saying he'll have to be institutionalized if this doesn't work."

"With time and care, he could become a full person again, but it would be a limited, low-functioning person. He could work at about the level of a janitor, could take some pleasure in simple things, but he would never again command a starship; he would be unfitted for even the lowest position in Starfleet."

McCoy stared dully at Spock, who said, "I need to get to the bridge, to plot our course for New Vulcan." McCoy nodded, his eyes unfocused. Spock crossed to him and took his hand, shocking McCoy into looking up at him. He spoke more gently than McCoy had ever heard him. "Doctor, you need to take care of Jim now. Make sure that he does not regain consciousness. We need to ensure that his current personality does not form any new memories, memories that would not integrate well with his former personality if we are able to restore it." He dropped the doctor's hand and took at step back.

McCoy cleared his throat and stood. "I'll keep him sedated until we get to New Vulcan. How long until then?"

"3.67 days."

"Okay, thanks."

* * *

Ambassador Spock opened the door of his small house to find his younger self standing in the doorway, with Kirk draped across both arms. A highly uneasy-looking McCoy stood behind them.

"Come in. After I got your message, I borrowed a monitored bed from the hospital and set it up in the main room; you can put Jim there."

Spock gently set his precious burden on the bed, and the monitor started to beep in time with Kirk's heartbeat. McCoy moved over to the bed and stood beside it, checking the readings.

Ambassador Spock gazed down at the body on the bed, so uncharacteristically and heartbreakingly still and silent. He looked at his younger self. "It is unfortunate that you never had occasion to meld with him before his injury."

"Indeed."

McCoy looked from the young face of his ship's First Officer to the aged face that was so like it and said, "I don't know much about all this Vulcan hoodoo. Supposed you explain to me just what you're going to do and what you expect to happen."

In spite of the situation, Spock Prime smiled at hearing this younger version of his old friend, with his characteristic distrust of mental manipulation. "I will first do an evaluation meld, to determine where the damage is and how much knowledge I have of the missing places in Jim's psyche."

Young Spock's face didn't change, yet his still managed to give off waves of disapproval at his counterpart's emotional display. "If I am no longer needed, I will return to the _Enterprise_."

McCoy turned on him, his face full of loathing. "Your captain lies in that bed, sedated because his mind's been ripped away, and you're going to go catch up on PAPERWORK while the version of you that does have a soul tries to fix him?"

Spock Prime put a hand on McCoy's arm. "Doctor, allow me. I believe there are aspects of this situation that you are unaware of." He dropped his hand and turned to Young Spock. "I know that my very existence makes you uncomfortable and that you would prefer to spend as little time as possible in my presence."

McCoy blazed up again. "That's no excuse for .."

Spock Prime grabbed his arm again and squeezed with Vulcan strength. "Doctor, I believe the correct phrase here is 'Shut up.'" Shocked, McCoy went to his knees with the pain in his arm and fell silent. Spock Prime released his arm and turned back to Young Spock. "I suspect that you blame yourself for your captain's injury and further blame yourself for not having melded with him before this occurred."

Young Spock stiffened and stared straight ahead, looking fixedly at the far wall. "If I had managed to locate Jim earlier, the Klingons would not have been able to damage him so severely. And if I had not avoided melding with him because his mere presence threatens my equilibrium, I would have the information needed to heal him."

Spock Prime gave his younger counterpart a small smile. "You have always done your best for Jim, and you always will. If you did not do more, it is because more was not possible."

McCoy softened when he heard the reasons why Young Spock had tried to go back to the ship. "Spock, I talked to Cupcake after the security team beamed back to the ship. He said that you took crazy chances to get the captain back, that you were almost killed three times before you got the captain out of there."

"His safety is my responsibility."

McCoy sighed. "Spock, I know we have our differences, but we both know Jim. NO ONE can keep that man safe, because he takes reckless chances pretty much every chance he gets. If some of those reckless chances bite him in the ass, them's the breaks. It's only because you're basically a freaking superhero that he's lasted this long."

Ambassador Spock looked concerned. "Is this true? Does your Jim take reckless chances?"

"Your Jim wasn't reckless?" McCoy asked.

Spock Prime smiled. "My Jim was brave and frequently bolder than was good for him. He prioritized his crew's safety at the expense of his own, he led from the front rather than from the rear, and he met every difficulty head on. But he did not cross the line into recklessness. I feared for his safety frequently, but I rarely doubted his good judgment."

McCoy and Young Spock exchanged a glance. McCoy said, "Your Jim had a father who loved him, and that must have made a big difference, because our Jim doesn't just cross the line into reckless, he leaves the line so far behind him that you have to squint to see it."

Young Spock said, "I believe that until us, no one ever valued our Jim, so he does not realize that he is valuable and does not think of himself as such. He does not take care of that which he perceives to be non-valuable."

McCoy grinned. "That's pretty insightful of you, Spock. I agree. I'm surprised you figured that out, though."

Spock Prime thought of Sarek's treatment of him and gave Young Spock a sympathetic look, then intentionally cut off further speculation from McCoy. "It is true that probing Jim's psyche cannot fail to be interesting, but I suggest that we focus our efforts on healing that psyche. If you will both sit quietly, I will do the evaluation meld."

McCoy and Young Spock went to the chairs that had been pushed against the wall to make space for the hospital bed and sat down. Ambassador Spock flexed his fingers, then pressed them gently against Kirk's face, moving his fingers around as he searched for the best possible connection between their minds.

It made McCoy anxious to watch but even more anxious to look away, so he watched the meld with unfocused eyes, watching but not quite seeing what was going on. Young Spock carefully observed the technique of his elder self, wondering with how many alien intelligences he would have meshed his mind by the time he was this man's age.

After a long time, Spock blew out a long breath and lifted his hand's from Kirk's face.

"Well," McCoy said, "What's the story?"

Spock Prime nodded to his younger self. "Your evaluation was accurate, as far as it went, but with my greater familiarity with Jim's mind, I've detected a pattern to the erasures that troubles me."

"Enlighten us," Young Spock said.

"The Klingons did not simply take all of the knowledge that could help them. Nor did they systematically try to destroy Jim's mind. They erased very specific aspects of Jim's early life; it appears that they have selectively erased Jim's stepfather."

"His stepfather!" McCoy said. "God knows the man could use erasing, given what he did to Jim. But why would the Klingons want to do that?"

Young Spock lifted a brow. "I can think of only one conclusion that fits with those facts."

"As can I," Spock Prime said.

"Well, what is it?" McCoy was ready to explode.

"I can only surmise that they intended to make Captain Kirk ... a Klingon," Spock Prime said.

"Nothing could turn James T. Kirk into a Klingon!"

"Not biologically, no," Young Spock said. "But they may have believed that if he were provided with the memory of a Klingon father, they could shift his loyalties from the Federation to the Klingon Empire. And a James T. Kirk who worked for the Empire would be a formidable asset."

"Regardless of the Klingons' plans, what remains to us is to heal the damage they inflicted and to restore Jim to full functioning," Spock Prime said.

Young Spock looked at Spock Prime with palpable skepticism. "He told me that you and he had a BRIEF meld, one that was intended to convey information swiftly."

Ambassador Spock inclined his head. "This is so."

"You cannot, then, posses full memories of his entire childhood."

"Quite true. I brushed against enough of those memories to know that they were painful and private, so I intentionally intruded into them as little as possible."

McCoy slumped. "So Jim's finished, then. You don't have what he needs to get better."

Spock Prime sat across from them and steepled his fingers. "That depends, Doctor."

"On what?"

"On which Jim Kirk you want."

"No!" Young Spock said.

"I do not have sufficient memories of _this _James T. Kirk to restore them to him. But I have very detailed memories belonging to the James T. Kirk of my world."

"How come you have so much of your Jim in your head?" McCoy asked.

"My Jim and I were bondmates."

"'Bondmate?' Is that Vulcan for 'best friend'?"

"No, Doctor. It is Vulcan for 'spouse.'"

McCoy blinked. "Spouse! You and Jim were married in your timeline?"

"In the Vulcan way, not in the human way. But the relationship was deep and permanent, and we shared minds many times. Vulcan bondmates share a deep psychic connection, and it is this that would enable me to engrave the memories of a James T. Kirk onto the man who lies before us."

"You would remove my captain's identity and replace it with that of your own captain? How convenient!" Young Spock was visibly angry.

Spock Prime sighed, then spoke gently. "It was not I who removed your Jim's identity; it was the Klingons who did that. If I possessed the necessary memories to restore his natural identity, I would give them to him, for they are his. But I cannot give that which I do not possess."

Young Spock stared angrily at his older self, unwilling to believe him.

Ambassador Spock said, "I do not blame you for your distrust, because any Spock in any universe will want to protect his Jim at all costs. And every Spock will resist any attempt to separate him from his Jim. But I do speak the truth. Meld with me, and I will show you - I do not have the memories your Jim needs."

Young Spock looked down and stared intently at the floor, thinking hard. He looked fiercely into Spock Prime's eyes and said, "You have lived five times as long as I have. You have skills and guile that I will not develop for many years. How do I know that you cannot shield part of your mind from me and merely make me _believe _that you do not possess the necessary memories?"

Spock Prime sighed.

McCoy said, "That sounded like a reasonable question to me."

Ambassador Spock turned to him. "You are correct; it was a reasonable question, and I will give it a reasonable reply. I was ... much trusted in my universe, and I am merely disconcerted at dealing with the distrust of people whose faces are so familiar to me."

"Yeah," McCoy said, "I can see how that would be hard. It sucks to be you. But it sucks to be Jim a lot more right now. What's this 'reasonable reply' you've got for us?"

"It is true that a long life has enabled me to hone my skills and that many years under the tutelage of Jim Kirk has made me wily. But I am not the only old and experienced Vulcan on this planet. I propose that my young counterpart select a Vulcan even older and more experienced than myself to meld with me and to search for the memories you fear I am concealing."

Young Spock nodded. "That will not be necessary; the offer is enough to prove your truthfulness."

Spock Prime gave his disconcerting smile. "I am pleased. We are back to our original choice, then. I can re-link the sections of Jim's mind where the connections have been broken and stop there. He will have much knowledge but little personality and will have to be cared for in an institution until he forms a new personality. Or I can reforge the connections AND engrave my Jim's memories onto the blank spaces in his mind."

"But this Jim's father died," McCoy protested. "It's a matter of public record. He'll know that the man you shove into his brain is dead!"

"Jim's father died, and the hole in his mind is for a stepfather. I can simply put Jim's real, loving father into his mind and label that person 'stepfather.' Jim will have a kind and loving person who taught him that he WAS of value, and he will believe that person to have been his stepfather."

Young Spock said, "The personality of someone who had such a father figure will not mesh well with the life that Jim has led up till now. The fighting, the brushes with the law, the recklessness - all of these were caused by the abuse of the stepfather that he now will not remember. How will you integrate these two aspects of Jim's personality?"

"That is an excellent question. There are three possibilities for dealing with this problem, and as the people who are the closest to this version of Jim, the two of you must choose among them."

"Well, what are they?" McCoy said.

"Option 1 would have me soften the memories of the recklessness that the abuse led to. I would not remove those memories entirely, but I would fade them, make them dreamlike, so that Jim would have a vague sense of having had a reckless youth, but he would have to actively look for those memories to find them; they would not be in the forefront of his mind."

McCoy rubbed a finger along his jaw and thought. "Wait a minute. Wouldn't that make this Jim even more like your Jim?"

Spock Prime nodded. "It would. However, it would also be likely to make him feel more whole, less split between his real past and his implanted past, and it would likely make him less reckless. He would probably be bold and confident like my Jim, rather than impulsive and reckless like yours."

"I gotta admit, that's tempting, but it doesn't sound right. What's option 2?"

"My Jim's father got Alzheimer's Disease when Jim was in his 40's, and his father said a number of hurtful things to him when he was non compos mentis. My Jim was old enough to handle it by the time it occurred, and he understood enough about his father's disease to know that - as he put it - it was 'the disease talking.' But I could bring those memories forward and implant them in the teenaged years, so your Jim would still remember a much better childhood than he actually had, but it would include some of the verbal abuse that so drives your Jim."

McCoy thought some more. "I hate the idea of hurting him on purpose to make him more like himself. What's Option 3?"

"Option 3 is to do nothing to reconcile the two sets of memories and let Jim himself find a way to integrate them. My Jim was rarely reckless, but he _was _high-spirited in his youth, and although his teenaged years contained no brushes with the law, he did get into fights from time to time. The differences between the two histories may not unbalance Jim unduly."

McCoy looked over at Young Spock. "You've been quiet, Spock. What do you think?"

Young Spock raised an eyebrow. "I have been silent because I believed it to be a mistake to react emotionally to each option before all of the alternatives had been presented. Now that we have all of the necessary data, we can discuss the appropriate course of action."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm emotional. I get that way when my best friend's life is hanging in the balance!"

"Gentlemen," Spock Prime said, "I believe that a discussion of the options would be productive at this point." He looked at his younger self. "Would you like to analyze the pros and cons of each alternative?"

"Indeed." Young Spock steepled his fingers and looked so much like his older self that McCoy had to stop himself from laughing. "The alternative that provides the greatest autonomy for Jim is Option 3, and autonomy is desirable, given that much has already been taken from him. It is also the option with the greatest danger, however, and that is undesirable, given that he has also been in grave danger."

"Agreed," Spock Prime said. "What of the other alternatives?"

Young Spock continued his analysis. "Option 2 is likely to produce a Jim that is the closest version to the Jim we lost, which is desirable. However, it will cause him pain, which is undesirable."

"And Option 1?" Spock Prime asked.

"It is likely to produce a saner, longer-lived Kirk, but he will be the farthest from the Jim we know." Young Spock looked down.

"I thought you were supposed be giving us the benefit of that giant Vulcan brain," McCoy said, "but you just said the same things I did, in different words."

Young Spock looked at McCoy. "It appears that this is one of those rare occasions when we are in agreement."

Spock Prime said, "There is another factor that I would put forth for your consideration."

"What's that?" McCoy asked.

"This James T. Kirk was deprived of a loving father through the actions of a being who was in this timeline illegitimately. Jim was always supposed to have a loving father, and it was only because of Nero's crimes - crimes that were imposed on this timeline from outside - that Jim's destiny was changed."

"Yeah, so?"

"One of the few things we know about timelines is that when they are damaged, they appear to attempt to repair themselves. The Klingons' actions are unusual; in 157 years in my own timeline, I never heard of their using the mind sifter to attempt to change an individual's memory of their own past. But they did. And here I sit - another interloper into a timeline not my own - possessed of the memories of an alternate Jim Kirk, one who had the loving father that your Jim should have had."

"So Nero broke Jim's past by taking his father away, and you fix it by restoring him?"

"Precisely, Doctor."

Young Spock said, "Are you certain that your argument is not a self-serving one, a way to make our Jim more like the one you remember?"

"Certain?" Spock Prime shook his head. "No. I cannot be certain. But everything I have said is true. Nero was an illegitimate incursion into this timeline. His actions did deprive Jim of something he would have had otherwise. Through an improbable series of circumstances, I do also happen to be here, able to right some of the wrong that Nero has done. And disrupted timelines do attempt to repair themselves."

McCoy looked dazed. "Spock?" he asked.

Both Spocks looked at him.

"Ambassador Spock, I mean."

"Yes, Doctor?"

"We thought at first that you'd gotten here by accident. Later we thought you were brought here in order to provide the red matter that could destroy Nero, to salvage what you could of this timeline. Do you think it's possible that you were also brought here to save Jim, to make him what he was supposed to be?"

"That is quite possible, Doctor. But the analysis of timelines and causality is a very new science, and nothing is yet certain."

"I guess I'm gonna go with Option 1, then. Give Jim a fighting chance to be all that he could be, not what that bastard Nero made him."

Young Spock sat rigidly in his chair, staring at his lap. McCoy noticed his posture and said, "You look even more troubled than you did before. What's up?"

Young Spock said nothing.

Spock Prime said, "Doctor, you were Jim Kirk's friend in both universes, and no matter what kind of Jim we end up with, that friendship will be important to you both."

"Yeah, that's nice to know. But so what? Aren't you also Jim's friend in both universes? Won't he and Spock be best buddies no matter what?"

Spock Prime shook his head. "I do not know. I know what has happened in my universe, but that does not make me a universal Cassandra. In my universe, Jim and I matched to an astonishing degree. We were so in tune with one another that we barely had to speak to understand each other."

"Uh-huh. And?"

"In this universe, up till now, both your Jim and your Spock have been more ... damaged ... than the ones in my universe. Your Jim's damage is very easy to see, but your Spock is both stoic and private, so his damage is less visible. But he lost both his mother and his entire home planet at a very young age, losses that stagger me even though I'm five times his age. I cannot imagine circumstances under which I would ever have tried to strangle my Jim on the bridge of the _Enterprise, _yet your Spock did so. He has suffered more than anyone should have to bear, even any Vulcan."

"Yeah, we're all kinda beat up, here in this universe. I'm not sure I get your point."

"The Kirk and Spock in my universe were an excellent match, a match for the ages. We became a legendary command team, the closest of friends, and eventually even lovers. The Kirk and Spock in your universe are also an excellent match, alike in the amount of damage they'd incurred, kindred spirits under their surface differences. And now we're proposing to make changes that will repair some of the damage that this Kirk has suffered. But Vulcan is still gone, and so is Amanda."

"Spock's afraid a less-broken Jim won't mesh with him as well as the broken one does?"

"So I surmise, Doctor."

Young Spock lifted his head and looked at his older counterpart. "I could hate you for your wisdom, but that would be illogical."

Spock Prime gazed at his younger self with compassion. "You have all the wisdom you need in order to do what you must do."

Young Spock looked down again and nodded, then looked back up.

Spock Prime said, "You have heard the choice McCoy would make. What is your choice?"

Young Spock said, "It appears that Jim's best chances for success, for happiness, and for a long life are all Option 1. It is true what you say, that I fear that I will never have the closeness with him that you had because I am ... broken. But I want what's best for him, and I find your timeline-repair argument both logical and persuasive." He squared his shoulders. "Option 1."

Spock Prime smiled gently at his younger self and said, "Spock will always love, guide, and protect Jim, will always put Jim's welfare before his own. And that is why you need have no fear, for any Jim - all Jims - will see that and value it to the end of his days."

Spock Prime rose and crossed to Kirk, settling his fingers gently on the meld points. He worked for many hours, long enough that both of the men watching began to be concerned that the old Vulcan would drain himself completely in fixing Jim's mind.

Finally, he was done. He fell into his chair and slumped there for a moment, then motioned to the other two. "Gather around him. He will wake soon, and he should see your faces as soon as he does, to help orient him."

Young Spock and McCoy crossed to the hospital bed and stood on either side of it. McCoy picked up Jim's left hand and held it and was only mildly surprised to see Young Spock do the same with his right hand.

After a few minutes, Kirk began to move slightly, seeming about to wake. They all held their breaths, wondering if it had all worked, if Spock had opened every connection, traced every memory, faded the wrong memories and enhanced the right ones.

James T. Kirk opened his eyes, and the blue eyes held an expression that had only ever graced hazel ones before. The blue eyes were calm, assured, confident without being cocky, strong without being reckless, friendly without being desperate. The blue eyes were the eyes of the greatest starship captain of his generation, and his friends gazed at him with love and hope.

End


End file.
